The Worst Athletes

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Hey everyone, nicktgal here, it’s almost the weekend, so here’s a little reading to kill the time until your Friday night begins…

While watching the Rays-Rangers game 5 and seeing Cliff Lee dominate Tampa Bay, I felt nothing else but hate for that guy.  Spurred by that was a tweet where I listed my most hated athletes, and spurred from that tweet is this piece.

_________

It’s easy to hate an athlete.  They do what most people’s childhood dreams were until they realize all their hard work isn’t going to pay off.  They get paid, they’re famous, they (in most cases) like what they do.  They had that childhood dream, had the ability to back it up, and backed it up.  We give them their money for what some people consider trivial, and we like it.  But when they mess up, we like to yell at them, curse at them, and feel good about ourselves.

We dislike a lot of the players, love a few of them, and boy, we love the teams we love.

We like him

We dislike a lot of the players.

We dislike a lot of the players.

We dislike a lot of the players.

It’s easy for us to point out why we love the athletes we love.  If I were to survey the Forth and Backwards reader (soon to be plural!!!) I’m sure they’d point out, depending on whether or not they were  Yankees or Mets or Jets or Giants fan, that they love Derek Jeter, Jose Rey- wait, who do Mets fans like?  Is anyone over there any good?- Mark Sanchez, or Eli Manning.

We love Jeter because he’s been the face of baseball and began the Yankee Dynasty that started in 1996, we love Jose Reyes (wait…..still not sure), we love Mark Sanchez because he brought the Jets to the AFC Championship in his Rookie Year, and we love Eli Manning because he led the Giants to a Super Bowl over the perfect Patriots.

It’s easy to love a guy that is willing to jump into a bunch of metal seats to catch a leather ball just for your team, a guy who stands behind a shoddy line to make a pass, a guy who disappoints all Mets fans with his promise-turned-bust.  Okay, maybe not the last one.

We let ourselves overlook the fact that they make more money we’ll ever make and they’ll get more girls than we’ll ever get.  Besides, they give us a reason to go to the bar and get drunk with our friends.

We know why we like them.  But then you have those guys that we hate.  And yeah, sometimes we can pinpoint why we hate them.

Reggie Miller – 25 ppg vs. the Knicks

Bill Belichick – 14-7 vs. the Jets since 2000

That stuff is simple.  But there are some guys that we see facing our teams that just, for some reason, we just can’t, god, you just, ya know, you just, can’t stand that asshole. (see what I mean?)  If they were on our teams, I’m sure we’d love them, but since they’re not, they suck.

Here’s my top few athletes that, for plenty of reasons, I can’t stand.

1. Tom Brady

It took me a while to actually get a bad picture of this guy, so, while I try to explain to you why I hate him, I guess the joke is on me.  But after delving through a few hundred images of magazine covers and hot babes attached to Brady’s photo to make a “couple photo” I found this picture.  It’s really not even that bad, I mean, the guy plays football, this stuff happens.  But, whatever, HAHA YOU GOT HIT.

I think the main reason I, along with every Jet fan on planet earth, hate this guy, is simply because he owns us.  And on top of that, he’s the genius-baby of Bill Belichick (remember that 14-7 since 2000 thing?).

Nothing good comes out of the Jets being on the same field, in the same division, in the same league as this guy.  since 2000 he has not only been at the helm of the best NFL dynasty, but has used the Jets to propel himself to top.

I mean, the only reason he got his chance to play was because Mo Lewis knocked Drew Bledsoe out of a week 2 2001 game.  That was supposed to be a break for the Jets (well, literal break for Bledsoe, too), but ended up being a break for Brady.  That season Brady led the Pats to a Super Bowl, all because Mo Lewis played too well.  Joke on the Jets as well.

Since the Patriots dynasty began, it’s led to nothing but lost sports arguments for Jets fans –“Dude, the Pats have won 3 Super bowls in 9 years, sit down and shutup”– and one bar fight for me after the Giants-Pats Super Bowl.  Anywhere Tom Brady goes, even if it’s just him on a television screen, means instant bad news for not only Jets fans, but anyone who wants to see their football team succeed.

He breaks the hearts of women and all men, that guy sucks.

2. Manny Ramirez

Nice dinger

When I first mentioned the idea of this post to Julian and told him Manny would be on this list he was a little surprised.  He can’t get enough of Manny “antics” that are just an optimistic euphemism for immaturity.  “How could you hate a guy that inexplicably dives for baseball in the outfield and tumbles on his ass three times before finding the ball? It’s hilarious!”  Well, that’s true, we all like guys like Michael Scott (even though The Office is getting worse every episode, watch Modern Family) and Phil Dunphy, but how stupid can you possibly be?

But stupidity isn’t cute once you stop running out ground balls and keep your bat on your shoulder no matter how good of a pitch.  You can’t just quit on your city, even if they are the hated Red Sox.  I mean, if you’re going to be fat and play a sport but can’t hit a golf ball, baseball is your game.  Look at David Wells, that guy was fat and looked drunk every game and was a 20 game winner in 2000.

But while on his way to becoming the most annoying player in Boston history, he never failed to kill the Yankees with his oh-so-sweet swing that probably left old Monument Park with a few dents.

Look at Chad Ochocinco (I admit, I used to dislike him), he’s loud, obnoxious, gets fined for his contrived touchdown dances, but the dude hustles every play.  He always talks about himself, but still plays for his team.

Manny is the opposite.

 

3. Pedro Martinez

The Yankees used to rip him.  Like, rip him.  His career ERA vs. the Yankees if half a run higher than it is vs. everyone else.  It even got to the point where the bumptiously admitted that the Yanks were “his daddy.”

But even after all that, every time he sauntered out onto the mound he had that slight grin on his face, regardless of all the cusses and probable threats that were tossed to the mound from the stands.  It made me want a line drive to knock his teeth out…yeah, it got to that point.

Also, his hair also looks like black buttered angel hair pasta.

He definitely has a low-flow shower

4.  Brett Favre

Just shut up and stop being a creep.  Skip Bayless said it perfectly:

@RealSkipBayless: Favre’s a very tough guy. But my guess: He’s exaggerating tendinitis to 1) take focus off allegations 2) create sympathy 3) build in excuse.

Stop it Favre, we all know you regretted coming back.

Also, while watching the Jets-Vikings game, every time he dropped back to pass everyone was yelling “kill the bastard!” So I guess most of you know what I’m talking about.

5.  Cliff Lee

Ever since last year’s Yanks-Phillies World Series when Cliff Lee caught a Yankee pop-up as though he could do it with his eyes closed I’ve hated him.

It’s like he’s always there, waiting in the shadows to swoop down and haunt the Yanks at the most inopportune time.

Mercenary

“Don’t worry, the Rays will take care of the Rangers, we’ll miss Cliff Lee in the ALCS.”  Well, guess what, Cliff Lee pitched game 5 and beat the Rays, leaving us to possibly face him twice in the ALCS.  And like Brett Favre’s future career, those two games don’t look to promising.  He also sprints off the field, like, come on, you’re playing baseball, haven’t you seen Manny Ramirez?

On a serious note, Lee is 6-0 with a 1.44 ERA in 7 career postseason starts.  But I’ve been hearing plenty of arguments that he is already the best postseason pitcher in the history of baseball.  Whatever happened to “yeah he’s good, but let’s see how long he stays this good.”?  Isn’t this why Pujols still has to wait a few more years to be in the same conversation as Alex Rodriguez?  Yeah, he’s the better hitter right now, but if both their careers ended right now, ARod would be booked as the better career player.

Andy Pettitte is 19-9 with a 3.87 ERA in 41 career postseason starts.  He also won every series-clinching game of last year’s playoffs for the Yankees.  Does this count for nothing?

The worst thing is, he’s going to be a Yankee next year.

friday,

nicktgal

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