I’m a sad Jets fan


There are three extraordinary things happening during this Jets preseason compared to any other:

1. We have tenable hope
2. We have a gigantic, critical holdout
3. Fuck yeah, we were picked for HBO’s Hard Knocks

Quiz: Which one do I wish is not on that list?

A couple days ago I, and the entire Jets nation, who, like I, is eyeing week 1 with shaking anticipation, was given a glimpse that perhaps that foreboding holdout, Darrelle Revis’ holdout, was coming to an imminent end.

That glimpse was from the hope-giving, lovable, wonderful, intelligent, one of a kind, Tim Cowlishaw. Tim,  (from all the way down in Dallas! With absolutely no reason to grace us with such great news other than being some sort of journalistic philanthropist!) on Saturday, tweeted

(@TimCowlishaw): Revis and Jets announce new deal, probably Wednesday. You heard it here first. “Inside information!”


OH MY GOD. HOLY CRAP.  That was the best slice of good news I had heard in a looooooooooooooooong loooong time.  Quickly I went to facebook, to the retweet button, to my bbm group consisting of Jets fan, and announced the winner of Super Bowl 45:  THE NEW YORK JETS!  And quickly I was responded to with “I am the happiest kid in the world,” “Super bowl champs!,” and “I just &#@!(# my pants!”

And as the day went on, there were your obligatory “Revis rumors not true” remarks from giants fans, guarded Jets fan, and even some ESPN reporters, i.e. Adam Schefter.

But hey, I refused to listen, I was too happy.

I even wittingly overlooked Cowlishaw’s incompetent, flat, linear article prose.

So I continued.

“Cowlishaw must be right, he writes for the Dallas Morning News, the largest newspaper in Dallas (and yeah, it’s the south, but still), and he’s even on ESPN!!”

Besides, he even wrote a whole article for Dallasnews.com stating:

As for those who said I was making it up to get more followers: Does that sound like a good thing to do? I’ve worked for The Dallas Morning News for more than 20 years, ESPN for another seven. Is just making stuff up and having no clue about it a big part of my history?

I mean, for him to release some sort of god-given “inside information” and then writing a related article defending his credibility, his source bust be pretty damn “inside.”  Journalists’ entire careers ride on their credibility, right?

But, I guess not so.

To my chagrin, it seems that I, along with my fellow Jet fans and now premature #*%*((@s, may have been duped.  Duped by the butt of the joke himself.

It started when placatory Tim started stumbling backwards, tripping over himself as he went:

@TimCowlishaw: Jets’ meeting with Revis’ people tonite will decide if I was a little overconfident in my initial prediction. But they’re talking.


An article saying that he is taking all the responsibility for his misreports and not blaming his source (although he kind of did in a few sentences.)

Two terribly ominous pieces of journalistic shit.

So, now without any actual optimism regarding Revis and him signing tomorrow, here I go again, delving ESPN, CBS, Fox, everywhere (not Dallas MN, though, I boycott them forever) for reports saying Antonio Cromartie is back to his old, badass form, and that Kyle Wilson is making precocious progress.  And I’m finding some stuff, too.

Cromartie, aside from his child-listing faux pas, which could have actually been the fault of HBO, hasn’t made headlines for anything other than his on-the-field turnaround, which, with his past, is a wonderful portent.  And Kyle Wilson was highly praised by Rex Ryan on week 2 of Hard Knocks, although Rex mediated by saying “he’s no Revis.”

And, to my surprise, as last year was miserable for Lowery, Dwight Lowery and Marquice Cole showed they can at least be somewhat effective nickel backs  in the absence of Revis.

So, like I said: “#1.  We have tenable hope.”

Tomorrow is Saturday, dooms day or pay day.

And even if Revis signs, Tim, great job!, but from now on, keep your business in dumpy Texas, with your way-too-big screens and Steve Slatons.

But if Sunday comes and Revis is still alone on his island,

1.  I might cry.

2.  I’m siccing chewie on Cowlishaw.




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